Florida Outlaws 90 Forms of Synthetic Drugs: Lawmakers Greatly Reduce Risk of Zombie and Cannibal Attacks for First Time Ever!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

By George F. Indest III, J.D., M.P.A., LL.M., Board Certified by The Florida Bar in Health Law

Florida Governor Rick Scott signed House Bill 1175 on March 23, 2012. This bill outlaws over 90 new forms of synthetic drugs. It modifies Section 893.03(1)(c), Florida Statutes, by expanding the list of banned hallucinogenic substances in Schedule I of the Florida Comprehensive Abuse Prevention and Control Act. To view Florida HB 1175, click here.

Florida's Synthetic Drug Legislation Imposes Restrictions on Synthetic Substances Including Bath Salts and Potpourri.

The new law puts in place restrictions to prevent abuse of synthetic substances including certain synthetic cannabinoids and synthetic stimulants. Many of the synthetic substances are also commonly known as synthetic marijuana, bath salts, K2, potpourri, and incense. For a full list of all Schedule I controlled substances, including all substances that were added with the signing of HB 1175, click here.

The large number of synthetic substances was included in HB 1175 because the chemical compounds in these substances are easy to change. The ease of converting these substances into illegal drugs helps illegal drug makers, users and sellers to avoid arrest and prosecution. For example, one synthetic substance might be illegal under the Florida Comprehensive Abuse Prevention and Control Act, but a minor change in the molecular makeup might make the substance legal.

New Legislation Could Mean Issues for Manufacturers and Retailers.

The passing of HB 1175 could mean more issues for manufacturers and retailers of any products utilizing synthetic substances such as bath salts, herbal incense, or potpourri. If you manufacture or sell any product that is composed of synthetic substances you should regularly test your products to ensure that you are in full compliance with the new law. It is likely that law enforcement will begin to target retailers and manufacturers of these substances in order to deter them from continued sales of otherwise legal products.

Banning Bath Salts Expected to Reduce Cannibalistic Encounters but to Increase Unhappy Spouses.

It is rumored that one prominent Florida lawmaker stated that by banning bath salts this should help to reduce the reported acts of cannibalism and zombie-like behavior in Florida. Florida, especially, has been linked to cannibal attacks and random acts of zombiism in the national news, thus scaring away many of the British and Japanese tourists who usually flood the state.
One lawmaker was heard to urge:

We need to decrease the unfair comparisons that have previously been made by such prominent personalities as Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew in their radio game called "Is it Florida or is it Germany?" This bill should do the trick.

The negative effects of the bath salts ban are overwhelming, however. One lady extremely upset over this (my wife) was heard to say:

This is unfair. What am I going to do with those 14 boxes I got for Christmas presents? Now I can't regift them next year!

It is expected that the incidence of homicides of attorneys by their irritable, unrelaxed, unscented spouses will increase dramatically.

Contact Experienced Health Law Attorneys.

The Health Law Firm routinely represents pharmacists, pharmacies, physicians, nurses and other health providers in investigations, regulatory matters, licensing issues, litigation, inspections and audits involving the DEA, Department of Health (DOH) and other law enforcement agencies. Its attorneys include those who are board certified by The Florida Bar in Health Law as well as licensed health professionals who are also attorneys.

To contact The Health Law Firm, please call (407) 331-6620 or (850) 439-1001 and visit our website at www.TheHealthLawFirm.com.

Sources Include:

Meale, Jenn. "Attorney General Pam Bondi Attends Synthetic Drug Bill Signing." Florida Office of the Attorney General. (June 26, 2012). From

Turner, Jim. "Rick Scott Signs Law to Expand Synthetic Drug Ban in Florida." Sunshine State News. (May 23, 2012). From:

Koebler, Jason. “Miami 'Zombie Apocalypse' Puts Bath Salts Ban in Congressional Spotlight.” U.S. News. (June 1, 2012). From:

McCorquodale, Amanda. “New Florida Laws In Effect: Bath Salts Ban, Random Drug Testing, Dyeing Animals, And Ads In Parks.” Huffington Post. (July 3, 2012). From:

“Miami law will ban "bath salts" zombie-drugs.” RT. (June 22, 2012). From:

Wuckland, Charles. “Bath Salts Drug Federal Ban Now in the Process After Miami Zombie Attack.” Dateline News. (June 2, 2012). From: http://datelinenews.org/bath-salts-drug-federal-ban-now-in-the-process-after-miami-zombie-attack/99604

About the Author:  George F. Indest III, J.D., M.P.A., LL.M., is Board Certified by The Florida Bar in Health Law.  He is the President and Managing Partner of The Health Law Firm, which has a national practice.  Its main office is in the Orlando, Florida, area.  www.TheHealthLawFirm.com  The Health Law Firm, 1101 Douglas Ave., Altamonte Springs, FL 32714, Phone:  (407) 331-6620.

Tag words: synthetic drugs, synthetic drug bill, Florida, Attorney General, Drug Enforcement Administration, DEA, pharmacy, doctor, physician, nurse, synthetic drug use, pharmacies, pharmacists, bath salts, potpourri, synthetic substances, k2, synthetic marijuana, zombies, zombie attacks, zombiism, cannibalism, cannibalistic, zombie bath salts, homicidal wives, homicidal spouses, zombie housewife, prevention, drugs, drug bans, laws, legal, attorneys, homicides of attorneys



Response to: Florida Outlaws 90 Forms of Synthetic Drugs: Lawmakers Greatly Reduce Risk of Zombie and Cannibal Attacks for First Time Ever!
Monday, August 20, 2012
kat p says:

I have 3 adult children that use these substances, and it has been a nightmare. they look like zombie tweekers, and I am afraid to be around them when they are using this horrible poison.

Response to: Florida Outlaws 90 Forms of Synthetic Drugs: Lawmakers Greatly Reduce Risk of Zombie and Cannibal Attacks for First Time Ever!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Karen Stateler says:

It is beginning to look like the government of Florida is helping the DEA to create a need for the existence of the DEA as the DEA has failed miserably in the original War on Drugs.

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